Sweet Sweat

I sometimes still read the comics section of the newspaper. As a child, I had a few favorites: "Fox Trot," "Garfield," and "For Better or For Worse" for some unknown reason. I generally avoided the strips drawn with any actual artistic talent (see Mary Worth and Judge Parker) - the storylines were too dramatic and the drawings too Lichtenstein-esque for my young mind.

When I was in the 2nd grade, a conversation in the carpool ride on the way home turned to the topic of comic strips. Being the youngest of the group, and desperately wanting to fit in, I piped up and claimed to be a follower of "Cathy," a comic strip in which I never displayed much interest, but thought it was a mature choice anyway (should have stuck with "For Better or For Worse"). My so-called preference was immediately met with jeers and yelps of dismay and this is when I exited the conversation and spent the rest of the ride home brooding and staring out the rear window of the Volvo station wagon, looking wistfully at the other drivers on the highway, wishing I could be in their car because I was sure that they would appreciate "Cathy."

I never did get into "Cathy," most likely because of the carpool disaster, but over the years I have had the opportunity to learn a little about Cathy's life and I have to say that she strikes me as quite a neurotic one. I gather she has landed herself a husband at last, but who knows whether or not she will ever end her plight of fitting into that coveted bikini. I feel like "Cathy" is intended to be the comic strip to which every modern woman can relate; the comic strip that is meant to be taped on the refrigerator right next to a postcard of 3 comically-dressed older ladies on pogo sticks.

I revisited "Cathy" one recent morning and saw that she was still burdened by her usual woes - namely, food! While there were many things of note in this strip (namely, the lack of actual humor), the thing that struck me the most was the last panel. A liquid seemed to be spouting from Cathy's head. Using context clues, I could only assume the liquid in question was sweat. I sifted through the recycling and checked out a couple more "Cathy" strips. Lo and behold, Cathy was sweating in several of the panels!! She wasn't even sweating. No, she was projectile sweating! Whenever Cathy became a little flustered, large beads of sweat leapt off her body like lemmings throwing themselves off a bridge. I looked up "excessive sweating" on medicinenet.com and it appears Cathy suffers from hyperhidrosis, "a common disorder which produces a lot of unhappiness." This is what they said:

Sweating is embarrassing, it stains clothes, ruins romance, and complicates business and social interactions. Severe cases can have serious practical consequences as well, making it hard for people who suffer from it to hold a pen, grip a car steering wheel, or shake hands.

No wonder Cathy is so unhappy! She can barely hold a pen in her hand! I get it now! The website even recommended undergoing surgery to treat this embarrassing disorder which may be a sign of thyroid disease (!). Who will take care of Electra when Cathy dies of thyroid disease?